We are all on this mortal journey from birth to death, and those we share it with create a fulfilling life. From our family to coworkers and friends, we enjoy shared experiences and create memories that stay with us, but if you lose a loved one, it can be heartbreaking.
Have you experienced the passing of a parent? Life is altered forever, and while you still have others to comfort you, your mother and father cannot be replaced. The pain of loss can be devastating without relief, but there are effective ways for coping with grief.
This is how to deal with the grief of losing a parent.
Take Time to Adjust
Losing a parent truly transforms your life, and while you still need to do your day-to-day responsibilities like going to work and taking care of children, it is usually a robotic response where your body is just going through the moves.
Realize that processing your emotions and waking up to your new reality will take time. The heart often lags with the loss of a loved one, and it is ok to feel lost and in a fog. With time comes acceptance, so allow yourself to adjust.
Let Yourself Feel the Emotions
We are emotional creatures, and our hearts carry a loss with a great weight. Some people try to keep those feelings bottled up and get back to normal, but this only serves to delay going through the emotions you need to.
Understand the grieving process as there will be many different feelings like:
- Numbness
- Disbelief
- Frustration
- Sadness
- Depression
- Yearning
- Anxiety
- An inability to focus
Permit yourself to endure these emotions, but don’t go into isolation. This grieving can trigger the emotional healing process in the body as you learn ways to cope and live with your grief. This will, in time, make you a stronger, more emotionally stable person.
Have a Support System
It is important to have loved ones around when a parent dies. Initially, you will need to be cared for, but even when time has passed, you still should have someone to lean on and talk to. This could be a family member, spouse or close friend, but whoever you have in your life, ask for their help and support.
You can also seek counselling as this is another outlet where someone will listen and care for you. These trained professionals know how to help and will give you proven strategies for dealing with grief.
Keep Memories in Your Life
After the funeral and memorial, people go on with their lives, but you don’t want to forget your parent. A good way to keep them present in your mind and heart is to keep photos or mementos around to keep your memory fresh.
There are several other ways to do this, including:
- Planting a tree or some flowers in their honour
- Take on their hobbies, whether volunteering, gardening or even a sport.
- Read some of their favourite books and watch their favourite movies
- Put together a family tree or a scrapbook of your memories with them
- Connect with their friends
- Adopt a pet
Practice Self Care
When you are grieving, it triggers negative hormones that flood the body on a steady basis, and this can cause inflammation and even make you sick. You must take care of yourself while going through this loss.
Some great self-care habits you can take on include:
- Being mindful through meditation and journaling
- Keep active through regular exercise like walking, swimming or gym.
- Get your sleep. You need at least 8 hours to restore your body.
- Don’t skip meals. This often happens with people who are suffering emotional loss. Ensure you eat nutritious food that restores energy and provides vitamins and minerals.
Ultimately, balance work, activity and rest to keep your mind, body and spirit steady.
Forgive Them
Part of grieving is anger, and while it may not be directed at them, you still feel cheated. Anger often presents itself as confusion, loss and grief and can stir up past trauma, unresolved conflict and hurt.
The best bet is to let go of any bitterness or emotions tied to the past that were not settled with your parent and find peace in their passing. Any resentment and bitterness only harm you. If you need to vent, write a letter to them or work with a councillor to process those complex feelings surrounding their death. This will not only get past your grief, but it may also help the pain from the past.
This is how to deal with the grief of losing a parent. Work through these and see what works best for you. While grief can be devastating at the beginning, this too shall pass, and you will be left with fond memories and a longing to see them in the next life.